Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.......................
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland".
"Holland?!?!" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy!"
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So yo must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there far a while and you catch your breath, you look around.......and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.
I am so thankful for for my faith and the people God has placed in my life who started their own journey with their children before us. You have all been so supportive and I appreciate all the valuable wisdom you have give me.
4 comments:
We have been soooo excited keeping up with each day..saying Momma..and the pictures..pushing up with arm braces..standing up with all those fancy contraptions...You go our Miss Lilly girl..we love you and look forward to hearing more..be careful coming home!! Love You! Mark & Sandy
What a beautiful poem!!!!!!!!!
Lilly is definately a Rembrandt. It is amazing how God provides us with other people who have already been to Holland. Tara, someday you will be able to share your story with someone else and bless their lives. Always pass it on... that's what life is all about. I am very proud to be your mother.
Go Lilly Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your story is just amazing. I am glad you are sharing it because you never know who will benefit from it. I am so glad she said mama!! It's wonderful that you are already seeing improvements! I check your blog regularly and I think of you guys often. Good luck in the upcoming days!!
Alesha Moore (tana's friend)
This was amazing Tara...I was so touched. I look forward to your blogs every day when I get home from school! Miss you girls!
Heather
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